Waiting on God Through Discouragement and Disappointment

Hope Deferred & Long Seasons of Discouragement

I’ve been thinking a lot about the verse that says hope deferred makes the heart grow sick (Proverbs 13:12). I know what it’s like to be in cycles of discouragement and disappointment, and when those cycles linger, our hope can quietly become compromised.

Frankly, I think that’s what the enemy wants. He knows that hope is the precursor to faith. Hebrews 11, the chapter often called the faith hall of fame, begins by explaining the ingredients of faith: hope and conviction.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 NIV

To have faith, we need something to hope for and conviction or assurance towards things we do not yet see. It’s like baking a cake. If I take away the milk and the eggs, I will not have cake.

The enemy loves to attack our hope. He knows that if he can injure hope, it’s like striking our Achilles heel, and our faith will weaken.

One of the ways the enemy attacks our hope is by creating cycles of discouragement and disappointment. What can be particularly painful are the situations where you have done your best – you have put your heart and soul into something — whether that’s your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your health, your career, or something else. If you have been giving it your all and yet you are met with disappointment and discouragement, it could be an attack of the enemy.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
Ephesians 6:11 NIV

Recognizing Cycles as Spiritual Warfare

As believers, it is important for us to recognize the enemy’s strategies. Ephesians 6:12 tells us that our true enemies are not the words and actions of people – our real enemies are dark forces, rulers and authorities in the spiritual realm. When we face discouragement or disappointment, in the moment, it may not seem like spiritual warfare. After all, these feelings are a natural human response to difficult or hard things.

But if we go deeper—into the soul and spirit of it— when we experience repeated cycles or patterns of discouragement and disappointment, there’s a good chance that the enemy is at play.

The other day, someone was sharing with me some really good news, and I was genuinely happy for them. But later that day and for the next couple of days, I could tell something was off with me. I felt agitated and couldn’t put my finger on it. My nervous system was reacting to what I wasn’t willing to acknowledge at first, and I began to realize this wasn’t just emotional, it was spiritual.

I eventually realized the happiness for my friend was tainted. It was tainted with some ugly feelings that I didn’t expect or want. I felt envy, and I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked – not because I think I’m perfect – but because I genuinely, in my heart of hearts, want my friend to experience joy and happiness.

As I spent some time processing my response, I realized that I had started to feel bitter about my long season of repeated disappointment. Once I recognized these feelings, I began to renounce them, confess them as sin, and repent.

Recognizing The Real Battle

I knew that if I allowed the bitterness, discouragement, and disappointment from my own season to linger, the enemy would get what he wants. He would have yet another reason to make me feel shame and hopeless.

In Zechariah 3:1, we find the enemy accusing Joshua the high priest of standing in the presence of the Lord with filthy garments. The enemy loves to point out our shortcomings – our dirty garments.

He wants us to give in to sinful thoughts so that he has yet another reason to go before God’s throne and accuse us of that very sin he stirred-up in the first place.

If the enemy has a reason to accuse us of sin, then the patterns of discouragement and disappointment only compound. Not only are we hurt by circumstances, but if we allow pain to turn into sin, then we can experience shame.

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Psalm 34:1 (ESV)

To overcome disappointment and bitterness while we wait on God, I believe it’s important for us to praise and worship Him. Psalm 34 was written by David at a time when he was on the run from King Saul and had to pretend he was insane to avoid capture in Gath. David knows a thing or two about long cycles of disappointment and discouragement. It is believed that David waited 15 years to become King and most of that was spent on the run from Saul. Despite his efforts to faithfully serve King Saul, David was met with assassination attempts. Instead of allowing bitterness or envy to settle in, David chose to praise and worship God. 

The Labels We Wear

When I think about bitterness, I always think about the story of Ruth and Naomi. Naomi was upfront and vocal about her bitterness. She was so bitter she didn’t want people to call her Naomi, which means “pleasant or sweet”. Instead, she wanted to be called Mara, which means “bitter”.

She had experienced the terrible loss of her husband and two sons. Talk about a pattern of grief, loss, and disappointment!

Naomi understood what is like to pour love into someone, into a relationship, only for them to be taken from this side of heaven. She knew that as a result of losing her two sons, she wasn’t going to have grandchildren, even though she had two daughters-in-law. I can imagine her mourning wasn’t just the loss of her husband and two sons, but also the loss of what could have been.

Maybe you’re there as well. Maybe you’re not just mourning the loss of what has already been taken away, but maybe you’re mourning the loss of what could have been. And that is hard.

Our God-given imagination is so powerful. With it we can see all the beautiful possibilities, but our imagination can lose its luster when laced with grief and mourning.

When we become consumed by discouragement and disappointment, it can become how we identify. We can begin to absorb all the nuances of our disappointment, grief and discouragement. If we are not careful, disappointment or grief can become so entwined with who we think we are that we take on labels God never intended us to wear.

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

Science Agrees With Scripture

What we say and how we identify or label ourselves matters. This isn’t just about wordplay or denial of circumstances.

Scripture tells us we will reap the consequences of our words. We should be careful with our words and thoughts, as Job 3:25 cautions us about the power of our internal talk track.

Recently, I saw a post on social media by Dr. Mark Hyman, a leader in functional medicine, and he talked about the importance of our thoughts on our physical health. Dr. Hyman said, “Your thoughts are not just ideas floating in your mind. They create real biochemical signals that shape immunity, inflammation, and resilience. Your brain and body are always in conversation.”

He continues, “When you say, ‘I am healing,’ you activate neural pathways that support recovery and cellular regeneration.”

I don’t know if he’s a Christian, but everything he said is backed up by scripture that’s more than 2,000 years old. Science is just now starting to understand what scripture has always said—that as a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). What we speak and think matters.

How To Reframe Our Thoughts

These are examples of subtle but powerful nuances.

• If we have a health condition, our default might be, “I have cancer.”
  • A hopeful and faith-filled message would say, “I am on a healing journey from cancer.”
• If we are dealing with infertility, our default might be, “I’m not able to have kids.”
  • Or we could say, “I’m exploring different paths of becoming a mother.”
• If we are facing a business closure, our default might be, “My business failed.”
  • Or we could say, “I’m experiencing a shift in my career right now.”

Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus

Earlier I talked about how David is an incredible example of worshiping while waiting. Several days ago, I was meditating on the song, “Yahweh” by Transformation Church. There’s a hook that has been resonating with my spirit: “This one thing I know, You are in control.”

If you’re going through—or coming out of—a cycle of discouragement and disappointment, this one thing I know: Jesus is in control. And nothing can separate us from His love: no calamity, disappointment, discouragement, or suffering (Romans 8:38–39).

Wherever we are, we have to make the decision to bless the Lord at all times. We have to carefully choose the words on our lips and the thoughts in our head. If the Lord has allowed the disappointment or the discouragement, then He is going to use it to work for our good (Romans 8:28).

That is His promise. That is His word.

If we love Him and we are called according to His purpose, then He will use the discouragement and the disappointment for our good and His glory. We have to believe that, cling to it, and hold on to it.

It’s just like getting waxed at the salon. We have to rip-off old garments of grief, disappointment, mourning, and discouragement. Yes, it stings and our skin may temporarily turn red, but it will yield beauty for ashes if we put on the garment of praise today (Isaiah 61:3).

He Has Always Been in Control

We take off discouragement and disappointment and put ourselves in the capable hands of our heavenly Father, who loves us with an everlasting love—the One who sacrificed His only Son so that we could be in continuous relationship with Him. That is why we can hold on to this one thing, knowing He is in control.

The Lord was in control on Calvary. He was in control when the stone was rolled away from the tomb. He was in control when Jesus appeared before His disciples and walked the earth for 40 days after His resurrection.

God has been in control through every storm of our lives—even the ones that felt like tsunamis. He sustained us, even in the deepest and darkest discouragements and disappointments.

And, if we look carefully, we will see His hand in our present circumstances. His hand of support, strength, and encouragement—even in the darkest of times. The key is that we have to look for it.

We have to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author, finisher, and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).